Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this just has baby written all over it
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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