dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
