I cockslap morals
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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