Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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