How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
