paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize