I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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