Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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