i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
