Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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