just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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