I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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