i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Fuck appropriateness.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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