Non-Jews are for practice
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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