you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
