and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize