I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
