talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
