awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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