Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Someone came in the potted fern
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
