R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
