I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
