Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize