we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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