He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
