there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize