I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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