On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
