I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize