so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
