Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
