Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
stop calling my apartment porn island.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
