you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Go christen that room with your naked body.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
