Porn is love you can see.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
