Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
