Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
