She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
