So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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