Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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