Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize