is your mom at the bar?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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