we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
