Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
