nut hugger
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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