is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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