im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Less talking, more tequila
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
