This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
