this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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