How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
