best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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