You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize