She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
