What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
